What Divorce Taught Me About Business And What You Can Learn From It
This isn’t going to be the type of ex-spouse bashing post you might expect. The truth is I’ve been faced with three situations in recent weeks. The combination has caused me to do a lot of soul searching and looking back. While I’ve been able to see the breakdown of my first marriage as more positive than negative for quite some time, I realized that it benefited me and helped build my copywriting business even more than I originally thought.
Never Rely On A Single Source Of Income
This was perhaps the hardest lesson of all to learn, but it was also one of the best. Allowing one client or one source of business to supply you with your entire income will have devastating results. It isn’t a matter of if, but when. When something does happen, you are left scrambling without an income and bills still piling on the table. As a general rule of thumb, limit customers to no more than 20% of your income.
What Really Matters When Mistakes Are Made
When it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter who did what, when, where or how. Defining the real problem and finding the solution becomes the most important thing to focus on. You can’t change what’s already been done, so chin up, buckle down, and ‘fix it.’ That’s the only way anyone will get anywhere. You may be surprised with the results.
Beating A Dead Horse Never Has Positive Results
I’m not a quitter, and have a terrifying fear of failure. It was another one of those things that I fought for far too long. Sometimes, you just have to admit that things aren’t going anywhere but down. When that happens, own up to it, cut your losses, and move on. This doesn’t mean give up or be afraid to push through the hard times. Pouring time, money, and effort into a sinking ship, however, makes it harder to recover. It’s one of those things. You just ‘know’ when you’re beating your head against the wall.
Climbing Out Of That Hole Has Its Rewards
When I was tired of working two full time jobs, welfare wouldn’t help, attacks seemed to come from all directions, and it just didn’t look worth it, I just kept going. Even after working myself out of that hole, I’ve found myself in situations where I’ve asked myself if it’s really worth it, or if I should just call it quits and take the easy road for a change.
I’ve found the copywriting and coaching/consulting business is much the same. This lesson can be easily forgotten in the heat of things. Thankfully, I have been blessed with great friends to help me remember.
The easy road may get you to where you are going, but the hard road has many valuable lessons and rewards along the way. Given either choice, I’ll take the hard road and enjoy the journey.
February 1, 2009 at 1:01 am | For the Writer | 12 comments
Fantastic lessons! It’s wonderful when you reach the other side of divorce and come to accept that ‘failure’ is a freedom of its own. It took me about seven months grieving before I could accept that I was better off out of a loveless marriage then attempting to keep bailing that sinking ship. Business is a lot like marriage, there will be good days and bad days, sometimes you do just have to cut your losses but most of the time compromise and a willingness to work through the hard times will strengthen the foundations.
Well, if I said it was easy, or that it happened quickly, I’d be lying. It took me a few years to figure out things weren’t working and years longer to get over it. For my dear hubby, it took a lot longer than that. Hopefully, I can save someone from learning these lessons the hard way
But you’re right. Giving up should always be a last resort, but refrain from ignoring those tell tale signs.
Angie
This is a great topic Angie! I’m still in the recovery portion of mine. Even though I am perfectly happy in my relationship now, just the sense of failure that divorce carries still weighs on me. Yet if I didn’t make it happen, I never would have became a freelance writer!
Expect a post about this in a few days, if I can get the words out.
~Kimberlee
Kimberlee Ferrell’s last blog post..Writing as an Outsider
Hi Angie;
I could have easily written this post…probably added to it. Yes, I can relate, but we are the stronger ones in the end.
Jo-Anne
Jo-Anne Vandermeulen’s last blog post..PUBLISHING OPTIONS
Awesome heartfelt post! One lesson I learned… when married, never allow your lifestyle (bills, mortgage, etc) to become higher than you can take care of on your own.
Christine OKelly’s last blog post..Turning Sh** Into Sugar
Hi Jo Anne,
Yes, this could easily become a very lengthy list, but felt it was best to break it up a bit. I’m a firm believer in the ideal that mistakes are only mistakes if we fail to learn from them. This is only one of the many things I’ve trudged through lately, and it has further brought me an…I don’t know how to say it…self-awareness?
If you can add to it, write a post and I’ll attach a link to this one. I would love to read your post! I think it would be something we might all find beneficial.
Angie
Yes! And very true of business as well! The first time around, I left with $40K worth of creditors on my back. The tears, sweat, and agony that resulted taught me a lesson I don’t care to learn a second time.
Hubby and I now live with the one income rule, and it feels a whole lot better. Thanks for adding that very valuable point!
Angie
It weighed on me for years after (I have been divorced since Dec 02. We split in Oct of 01.) It was a long journey and one that is different for everyone of us. Even though I joke around a bit about it, we both made mistakes. Some bigger than others. Granted, being civil still takes effort, but I value what I’ve learned and wouldn’t be who I am without them.
I look forward to reading your response when you’re ready. If you would like, I’ll link to it here.
Angie
You know, I’m a survivor of domestic violence. I’ve shared that tidbit throughout some of my published work and on my blogs and sometimes even in conversation that happens on various social media sites. They say what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger, and I believe that with all my heart. You may not even realize you’re stronger for having gone through it, but you are. It’s never fun when something ends – even if it wasn’t a good thing – because it’s something we’re used to and it’s “comfy” for us to stay there.
Surviving domestic violence not only made me realize that I can make it through most anything, but it made me realize that I had been given a special opportunity to combine my tragic past with my God-given talent with words and share my heart to inspire and encourage others. I would have never been a freelance writer had I stayed in that relationship. Imagine that! I’m judged for it over and over. I’m told I must have done something to make someone so angry they’d want to hit me, but those are folks who just don’t understand – or care about – the power of abuse (verbal and physical).
Anyway, enough rambling… This post really resonates with me, and I thank you for sharing it with us and letting us see what you’ve learned. I agree, I’ll take the hard road and glean from the journey!
*smiles and hugs*
Michele
Yes Michele, what you mention are perhaps some of the biggest lessons of all.
While mine never physically hit me, I used to wish he did because it would have been easier for others to understand. In fact, many who should have still don’t understand what happened. Funny, but sometimes, someone says something in a particular way, or I see something, and I can hear some of those words and conversations like it happened yesterday.
A good reminder of how far I’ve come in the last 10 years. *smiles and hugs*
Angie
Yep, even today that very same thing happens to me. “Flashbacks”, I call them…. The physical abuse heals so much easier. Verbal abuse can haunt you for a lifetime.
*smiles and hugs*
Michele
Michele’s last blog post..Don’t Let Your Past Keep You from Your Future
@angie1234p You’re most welcome. Great post! http://tinyurl.com/c9zpme